Sunday, October 23, 2011

Tick tock, tick tock.

B is due any day now, and we're waiting with baited breath. And yes, that is a 'Yay!' moment for her, and for all of us, though 'Yay!' has not been my predominant thought all these months, because, from the moment she declared she was pregnant, she told me in the same breath that I was on duty. Baby-naming duty, that is. I will have you know, that I'd much rather be on jury duty. It would be infinitely easier. Either 'Set him free!' or 'Off with his head!', depending on what kind of a mood I am in that day. But baby names? 

The clincher is, however, that she won't tell anyone whether it's a boy or a girl. So I need to come up with two separate lists-one with names of boys, and the other, with names of girls. And her brief is simple-'The girl names have to be hyphenated, and be simple, yet classy, short, but not common, and sound elegant and regal, yet current and relevant (e.g. Sarah-Lee, as compared to Margaret).' Sure, I said, is that all? You want fries with that??? And the boy names have to be short, preferably have only two syllables, and sound like a movie star's name (e.g., Adam, as opposed to Herbert). You can tell that-

a) B has spent a great deal of time and thought on this, &
b) She doesn't real care for boy babies much. It's just like-be born already, and I'll give you a name, only because you need to have one.

Now normally, if it were anyone else, I would have told them that they're crazy and to stop
wasting my time and name their own baby, 'cause frankly, even a loan application has fewer T&Cs than this. But I can't do that with her, because these days, she lives in Hormone City, which is just around the corner from the Town of Tantrum, and believe me, you don't want to go there. Really unpredictable weather, as her husband found out, on more than one occasion. (BTW, I am writing in to Vatican City to get him declared a saint for putting up with all that he does). 

So anyway, I read a whole book of baby names and came up with two lists, and sent them to her, and she promptly shot all the names down. With a whale harpoon. Everything was no, no, no! So two things are going to happen-she's going to end up naming her baby something like Edge or Rika, (and live with the consequences), while I'm just going to be one book closer to my target of having read 50 books this year (damn straight I'm counting that book of baby names!)


Aditya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aditya said...

My Favorite line "these days, she lives in Hormone City, which is just around the corner from the Town of Tantrum, and believe me, you don't want to go there.":)

Dinx said...

Hehehe! Ya, I do admit that's pretty funny...:-)