Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Ramble, ramble...

I can't make up my mind about Dexter. Not whether I like or dislike him, because I'm quite sure I don't. And not even because he's a serial killer, mind you. For reasons that probably make sense to no-one else but me. Because his lips look white and chapped. Because he's a redhead. Because he looks like one of those freckled misfits that you'd imagine hanging around looking at people strangely and smiling a fake smile, and then going home and indulging in some weird fetish. The kind of person, the cops discover later, is a serial killer. Which is exactly what he is! He just has that look in his eye, you know? Then why can't anyone tell? Especially since his sister's a cop. And then, there are all those people missing. And nobody ever, ever, found a clue. Really? But I guess all this shall come to pass in future seasons on Indian TV, which are actually past seasons everywhere else.

It's March, and I should be thinking about other things, such as my impending audits, and all the impending financial year-end bullcrap-ery that marks March, but instead, I am thinking about Dexter. And the Walking Dead. Now that's a show I'd much rather watch. Just honest-to-goodness zombies, with just thing on their  agenda-to chew you to pieces. I mean, can it get any simpler? You walk around aimlessly grunting and looking fierce, and the moment you see a human, you chomp. Ah, that's the life (or un-life, or whatever), unless you get shot or thwacked in the head with a pick-axe (OW!). That's a bummer, no doubt, but what do you care, because you were dead to begin with anyway. Win-win. Though the plot is uncannily similar to Zombieland, and watching that movie also answered a nagging doubt-why don't I ever recall seeing Jesse Eisenberg in a movie before? Till I saw Zombieland and went - ah, that's what he used to do before The Social Network! Apart from standing on a tree stump in The Village.

Which brings my rambling brain to another question-what the hell happened to TV anyway? There used to be a time when I was perfectly content to just watch Spiderman, or The Wonder Years, or M*A*S*H, or some such other innocuous show, where people didn't even say 'Damn'. And now, it's all "You beep beep. Get outta my beep way before I blow your beep head off. You beep beep beep. I should've shot you when I had the beep chance." It's traumatic, really. At the end of the day, I want to relax, unwind, and watch something calming or funny (and not just another re-run of Friends, that I believe will air till the end of time), and all I get is this. Traumatic TV. So don't you judge me when you catch me watching 'Bee Movie'. IT BEEPING CALMS ME DOWN, OKAY??!!

Which is why I think sometimes that I was just better off without TV, and then I was presented the proverbial apple in the form of a DTH connection. Whenever I resolve not to renew my subscription this time around, a little voice in my head says- "But all those episodes of Glee and Modern Family are not going to watch themselves, are they?" They're all just standing like little orphans in the rain looking up at me. I just need to know what happens next, don't I? TV hell. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

And despite all this, I'm still on track with my reading (6 down, 44 more to go), and I've completed Committed: A Skeptic makes Peace with Marriage, which was interesting, but got a little tedious at times, since Elizabeth Gilbert does tend to go on a bit, even though she does riddle by brain with fascinating little nuggets of information. But I'm a very impatient reader, which is why, as I mentioned earlier, Charles Dickens stands no chance with me. I also read He's Just Not That Into You. Yes, I know there's a movie and I could have just saved myself the time, but you could just say that this was a filler book, because I couldn't get in a fatter, juicier book at this point that requires actual, you know, concentration, and actual,you know, thought, and I did promise myself 50, people. And when I realise that I still need to read F-O-R-T-Y-F-O-U-R books, all I can do is squeak 'Help...' like the little voice in my head.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

4, and counting...

I finally watched 'The Bucket List' a couple of weeks ago (yeah, I know, loser, right?) and quite predictably, decided to make a short bucket list myself. Short, because I want to test this out and see if it works for me, this Bucket List thing, because some people get it, and some people don't. For instance, she who must not be named (ref.my earlier post Addicted to the Drama) would recoil in horror and say, ''What? Plan my life? Make a list of things I want to do? Why? Aren't things just supposed to happen on their own?''

So, anyway, one of the things on my list is to read 50 books this year. You read that right, baby - 50! Some of you are thinking 'piece of cake', while some of you are probably thinking at this very instant, 'What? Have you lost your frickin' mind!!!? Yeah, right! This I gotta see!'

I only have the courage to actually mention this publicly because, as of now, I'm right on track, but since it has been only a month, I'm reserving my desire to gloat for later. So far, I have read 4 books in the month of February, and I use the term 'read' very loosely here, since I cheat with audiobooks. I don't see why they should be treated with any less respect than a printed book, though I do love the smell of the printed book, and have you ever heard of anyone cuddling up with an audiobook on a rainy day? Er, no, I think not. But the audiobook does give me the liberty to catch up on my reading while I do my fascinating chores, such as vacuuming and hanging the clothes out to dry.

I would also like to clarify that I am reading none of that high-brow literature that people who know me naturally assume I would. The objective is to actually get through the book, not get transported into a hypnagogic state everytime I start to read Charles Dickens describe every stone that ever paved the streets of dreary old London (oh, and I take a brief moment here to mention that I learnt the word 'hypnagogic' a couple of days ago, courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com/, which pops a word into my inbox everyday, and which I have vowed to read and remember, because sometimes it just feels like the last time I actually learnt any new words when I was in Class VI). No, indeed. My logic is very simple. Ideally, the book should be around 250 pages long, which divided by 7 days in the week, gives me an average of around 35 pages a day, which is pretty manageable, if I read even while watching 'Masterchef USA' (which, by the way, cannot hold a candle up to Masterchef Australia, but GO, WHITNEY! Whoo!!! and mentioning Masterchef India might just make me gag, so I won't do that here, unless you want to deal with my virtual vomit) and 'Walking Dead', which strangely, despite all its blood and gore, and hacking and head-severing, does not make me gag. I think the sight of the delectable Andrew Lincoln is what actually keeps the bile from rising up into my throat. I have loved him ever since I set eyes on him in 'Love, Actually' and nothing is ever going to change that. However, if you ever read or hear me say that I watch or like 'Burn Notice', please be merciful and shoot me, will ya?

So far, here are the books I have read with the link to Goodreads--

February 2011
Week 1--The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
Week 2--Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre
Week 3--The Book of Tomorrow by Cecilia Ahern
Week 4--A Tiny Bit Marvellous by Dawn French

I'm currently reading 'Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage' and I'm looking forward to hearing from you with your suggestions for a few more good ones. Thanks! xoxoxox