Thursday, July 23, 2009

Miss Cranky 2009

What I don't understand is----
How M, my girlfriend from school (you know who you are, you gorgeous thing), still manages to look like a sixteen year old, even after she eats thick chunks of mountain-goat cheese and wolfs down sandwiches the size of whales. And to add insult to injury, her job involves travelling around the world AND she gets paid for it. There is no justice in this world, I swear.

Now that the eclipse is over, I'm waiting for the changes. 'Financial gains', it said. My feet are going 'tap-tap-tap'. I'm still waiting...My bill at the checkout counter says 'You have saved Rs.53.09 by shopping at Big Bazaar.' Is that what 'financial gains' means? Hmmm....this could take an entire lifetime.

I'm having one of my 'WHAT AM I DOING HERE?' days at work, and generally in life. I should be doing something EXCITING, spectacular and meaningful. Instead, I'm daydreaming.

I SO want to go on a holiday, but that is not an option right now, so I'm living vicariously, looking at other people's holiday pictures on facebook (yes, all 539 of them in the album) and being patient.

I'm way behind on both-the book I promised myself I'd write, and the body I promised myself I'd have this year. I am also finding it difficult to kick myself on the butt, as you can imagine. I've never met anyone who can actually do that.

So if you've had enough whining for today, I'll go and read other people's blogs now look at the 231 photos I've missed. Oh, and if you happen to go on a spectacular holiday, please feel free to send me the link to your album and rub it in!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Embarrassing moments..and momentous ones!

If we're going to talk about pet hates, then here goes-
  • People who have no idea about things, but talk incessantly, as if they are authorities on the subject, like, "Yeah, I expect that the markets should reach 20,000 by December and then it's gonna crash like never before." These, mind you, are not people who have been studying the market. These are just people who have been listening to other people talk, and these other people are just about as ignorant as they are.
  • Having to wait in queue and finally reach the counter in a bank or office to be told that this is the wrong counter or queue, or I have filled in the wrong form, and there are no signs anywhere to guide me to the right place, and the people are unfriendly and unhelpful (and downright hostile)and behave like they don't even know what you're talking about. Next counter, please!
  • Packing and padding myself in rain gear to step outside and discover that it's bright and sunny and I'm sweating bullets because I've wrapped myself in frickin' tarpaulin (am I allowed to say frickin' here?) and conversely, also convincing myself that it's not going to rain, even though the sky looks threatening, and walking ten steps before a rain cloud follows and unburdens itself on me (just to teach me a lesson, I swear). Having to go home and then peel my clothes off my body is, by far, the worst thing ever.
  • Having to paste a fake smile at a family get-together where some 'Aunty' that I haven't met for a zillion years or so, sees me and shrieks loudly enough for everyone to hear, "My God, look at you! You were this little the last time I saw you!" and she holds her hand about two feet from the ground to indicate how tall I was when she last saw me. Multiply my embarrassment by ten if she knew me as a baby and (God forbid!) I actually happened to poop or pee on her. She then goes on to describe that incident in excruciating detail (interspersed with chuckles in the right places) while my mother (traitor that she is) beams from ear to ear as if it were the cutest thing ever!
  • Having to wait till I reach the counter at the end of a long queue at the supermarket to be told that the POS terminal (card-swiping machine) is not working, and I'll need to pay cash instead when I'm not carrying enough. Arrrrgggghhh!!!
  • In the same vein, having to look interested at a boring meeting, when the boss is droning on about something that I have zero interest in. At that precise moment I'm thinking, What movie should I watch this weekend? No, wait, I've been meaning go to that sale forever, so I'll do that instead, and I really need to get a manicure...while I look down at my hands, and the boss thinks I'm looking at my notepad to review my notes which consist of the pearls of wisdom that he's just spewed.
Well, okay, this list is not exhaustive, but since this is turning into a gripe fest, I'll continue this list later. Maybe if my mood changes later, I'll write my list of things I love (that list, I'm happy to report, is considerably longer :-)

Tomorrow's the solar eclipse and I'm excited & nervous. Don't ask me why. I barely even understand anything about astronomy or astrology, but great things, they say, are about to happen. Well, see you on the other side of momentous moments!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Yeah, yeah, that girl.

I know this Sec 377 thing has got everyone's knickers in a twist and people are delirious with the ruling and all, but you know, after a certain point, it's like, get your celebrations off the street and get yourself a room, you know? I don't parade around on the streets and flaunt my heterosexuality in your face, do I? Please extend that courtesy to me as well.

I ordered J. Randy Taraborrelli's 'The Magic and the Madness' as soon as MJ passed away, and I was so relieved that the website seemed to have it in stock, but my happiness was short-lived, because now I guess everyone else wants to read it too, and after a few days, Rediff showed it as 'Out of Stock'. :-(

It's been raining buckets for the past few days, and this morning, the wind was so fierce that I thought it would blow the roof off the balcony. I think I have some kind of monsoon SAD (Season Associative Disorder), so the rain is not helping things much. Every day, I come to work and waste time daydreaming, looking outside at the palms sway, and wondering what I want to do next. It doesn't help much that I have the attention-span of a goldfish and am incapable of sticking with one idea or thought for more than a few hours at a time. As a result, I have crammed my 'to-do' list up with so much that I actually spend all my time thinking of what I SHOULD be doing and very little time actually DOING anything.

I've also eaten far too much over the weekend and I'm having a 'fat' day. The days of patting myself on the back for losing the equivalent of a small child in weight have long passed and I'm back to feeling fat. My knees, however, refuse to co-operate with me when I attempt to go all-out in one of my frenzied and OTT attempts to make up for lost time by over-exercising, or when I'm feeling particularly perky and decide to exercise for two hours at a stretch. I usually give up after 1 hour and fifteen minutes.

And now it's raining and I need to fight traffic to get back home. Coming to work and returning is an adventure everyday. So much for progress and advancement. This is so not fun.

You know the kind of girl who has lived x number of years thinking that life should be a particular way because that's how it happens in books and movies and in other people's lives, ergo, that's how it should be in mine, and then watches helplessly as it all falls down around her and there's nothing that she can do to stop it, because how can you control what other people think and do, right? The kind of girl whose life is so regular, but dreams that it can be, and will be, so different, and the best life she could have imagined. The girl who wakes up every morning thinking that this could be the day when everything changes. Yeah, yeah, that girl. That one. That's me. I am that girl.

I miss you so!

Okay, so I know it was almost a month ago, but it was never my intention to jump on the bandwagon earlier in any case. I was too overwrought with grief. Yes, I was. No, I didn't know him personally. Never met him in my life. No, I don't think he was a paedophile. I also don't care about whether his children were actually fathered by him or not, and who Blanket's real mother is, and whether he was having an affair with the children's nanny, or whether he was gay, and had a string of gay lovers.

I MISS HIM! Nobody can explain it. MJ-lovers know EXACTLY what I'm talking about, and non-MJ lovers are scratching their heads and going,'Huh'? B(my best-est friend) has threatened me with dire consequences if I hang a picture of anywhere in the house. She remembers the time my Mom put up a picture of Diana (the Princess of Wales, not me) after she died, and it hangs there till this day. It's unhealthy, B says, this obsession with dead celebrities. But what does she know?

If the truth be told, I have been scouring the net for snippets on MJ, ever since he died. I cannot say I'm shocked at the lies that people will tell just to get in the news, and yes, I was so relieved that no-one knew where they'd taken his body, because that meant he'd finally have at least a moment's respite. RIP, Michael.

But now the snippets on Google have disappeared and it keeps throwing up the same old news. Does this mean we're leaving him alone? Don't get me wrong. That's a good thing, but I somehow feel a little lost without my daily fix of MJ. I satisfy myself now by reading old articles that I hadn't read before, because I was too busy thinking that MJ was a weirdo and all that they were saying about him was true. Shame on me. Oh, MJ, I wish you could come back. I miss you so!