Monday, July 20, 2009

Yeah, yeah, that girl.

I know this Sec 377 thing has got everyone's knickers in a twist and people are delirious with the ruling and all, but you know, after a certain point, it's like, get your celebrations off the street and get yourself a room, you know? I don't parade around on the streets and flaunt my heterosexuality in your face, do I? Please extend that courtesy to me as well.

I ordered J. Randy Taraborrelli's 'The Magic and the Madness' as soon as MJ passed away, and I was so relieved that the website seemed to have it in stock, but my happiness was short-lived, because now I guess everyone else wants to read it too, and after a few days, Rediff showed it as 'Out of Stock'. :-(

It's been raining buckets for the past few days, and this morning, the wind was so fierce that I thought it would blow the roof off the balcony. I think I have some kind of monsoon SAD (Season Associative Disorder), so the rain is not helping things much. Every day, I come to work and waste time daydreaming, looking outside at the palms sway, and wondering what I want to do next. It doesn't help much that I have the attention-span of a goldfish and am incapable of sticking with one idea or thought for more than a few hours at a time. As a result, I have crammed my 'to-do' list up with so much that I actually spend all my time thinking of what I SHOULD be doing and very little time actually DOING anything.

I've also eaten far too much over the weekend and I'm having a 'fat' day. The days of patting myself on the back for losing the equivalent of a small child in weight have long passed and I'm back to feeling fat. My knees, however, refuse to co-operate with me when I attempt to go all-out in one of my frenzied and OTT attempts to make up for lost time by over-exercising, or when I'm feeling particularly perky and decide to exercise for two hours at a stretch. I usually give up after 1 hour and fifteen minutes.

And now it's raining and I need to fight traffic to get back home. Coming to work and returning is an adventure everyday. So much for progress and advancement. This is so not fun.

You know the kind of girl who has lived x number of years thinking that life should be a particular way because that's how it happens in books and movies and in other people's lives, ergo, that's how it should be in mine, and then watches helplessly as it all falls down around her and there's nothing that she can do to stop it, because how can you control what other people think and do, right? The kind of girl whose life is so regular, but dreams that it can be, and will be, so different, and the best life she could have imagined. The girl who wakes up every morning thinking that this could be the day when everything changes. Yeah, yeah, that girl. That one. That's me. I am that girl.

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