The one in which I'm Monica, no, Phoebe, no, Monica....no...wait!!

So after B took the facebook quiz that asks the life-defining question 'Which character from F.R.I.E.N.D.S are you?' I clicked on the link that beckoned me too. Of course, as all compulsive quiz-takers know, if there is a quiz on facebook, it must be taken, even if it's called 'What size of a mole on Brad Pitt's butt are you?', because to continue living a meaningful life, you have got to know whether you're a big mole or a little mole, don't you?

The F.R.I.E.N.D.S quiz asks me around ten seriously inane questions, after which the result proclaims 'You are Monica!' Hmmmm...I think, and I post a message on B's wall, saying, 'Hey, guess what! I'm Monica too.'

In about 5 minutes, my cellphone beeps with a message alert. It's B with 'You're Monica, huh? Weird. I'd figured you more as a Phoebe.'

Since B's Monica too, and she and I are not alike in any way, it would seem natural that she would be surprised. For instance, I do not have a nervous breakdown if the washing machine doesn't complete the washing by exactly 8.14 a.m., or if the cushions are not lined up exactly so. I can also live with the fact that one of my pillowcases is not quite the exact shade of pink as the others. B, on the other hand, treats that fact as if one pillowcase is actually magenta or something, and because of that, Martha Stewart's staff is going to track her down across continents just so that they can berate and humiliate her on international television for being such a pathetic home-maker. I, on the other hand, can live with myself if I've remembered to stock the fridge with food, have clean, ironed clothes to wear, and my apartment is more or less inhabitable.

To answer B, I message back-

D : Yeah, that's what the quiz said.

B: I'm Monica! You must be Phoebe.

D: Why? Do I go around saying things like "Hi! I'm D and I have babies coming out of me?"

B: Take the quiz again.

D: Huh? You're shittin' me, right?

B: Just take it!

So I took the quiz again and juggled with the answer options till I got the answer 'You are Phoebe!' though I didn't answer a single answer truthfully. I messaged B with-

D: Hey, I'm Phoebe!

B: :-)) Told ya!

Phew! I am now happy to report that by taking(and manipulating the answers to) a totally meaningless quiz, I have saved our lifelong friendship from going completey down the drain. If B has to be Monica, then she has to be Monica, else every time I display the slightest bit of (what she considers) quirky behaviour, she will say with a smirk "Isn't that just the kind of thing Phoebe would do?" On the other hand, every time someone says to her, 'You know, you remind me of Monica from Friends', she beams as if someone just compared her to the Virgin Mary. Go figure.

Me? I don't care either way. I'm just Monica Phoebe, and a medium-sized mole on Brad Pitt's butt.